Snow Day Musings

Sometimes the universe aligns perfectly and gives you exactly what you need even if you don’t know it….

I have been blessed so far in my life.  I have been blessed with wonderful friends and opportunities and while I don’t have exactly what I had originally thought I would at this time in my life, I am pretty close.  I have a decent job I like majority of the time, people who support me and pretty much all my needs (and some of my wants) are definitely covered.  So I haven’t been able to figure out why I am not that happy… until now.

I am missing passion. I am not talking about the physical romantic passion.. I am talking zest for life, take the bull by the horns kind of passion.

Overall, I am not a passionate person.

Now this has been in the back of my head for a long time, I just never really realized it.  I went to a salsa club a couple years ago and got a long lecture from a latino guy who first insulted my dancing skills and then expected for me to come running after him screaming.  Instead, I walked away from him and went and complained to my friend.  When he came by again, he proceeded to tell me that I was missing passion.  He was trying to get a rise out me.  A passionate person would have chased him down and told him how wrong he was.  Now at the time, I put this event down in my mind as just as a weird club experience and called it a day.  Not to give that random guy too much credit, but he was slightly right.

My passion has been lost or really never been found as an adult.  All kids have it but as we enter reality, we loose a part of it and I think its time mine comes back.

I saw that this past weekend as well.  I was out with two of the most passionate friends I have and realized that I was missing something.  I am missing that fire that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, that drives you through even the most mundane days.

I want it back and I am on a mission to find it.

When I look back at a lot of my actions and choices the past couple of months… it looks like I started this quest.  I refused to spend another New Year’s eve in this country and enlisted my friend to go with me to Las Vegas.  I needed a change but didn’t realize why.

Which is why the snow day today is perfect. I called in “snowed in” to work  and decided today I was organizing my life today, start clearing out some clutter to make room for creativity and an open mind.   I am excited for what is to come.

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